I’ve had two mini Kit Kat bars and now i’m eating an individual Reese’s peanut butter cup. I feel like a little kid who is eating Halloween candy behind their moms backs at 11pm, but I’m actually 25 and my mom isn’t watching me, so I don’t feel fun and sneaky but disgusting and regretful. I guess its just this world we live in today, where eating candy makes me feel bad about myself because on every corner there’s some kind of organic food store or juice spot. But I do like all of that stuff. When I workout at the gym, then steam and have a green juice and it makes me feel like I’m a hot girl taking care of myself. When I’m eating candy in my bed alone in my apartment I feel like a fat girl with no friends who likes horses, even though I don’t even like horses. There was always that fat girl in your hometown when you were growing up who loved horses. Never got that.
Ever since I moved into my new apartment, i’ve been feeling so lonely every day. I always wanted to live alone, but now that I finally do it’s so depressing. I just want to have a fucking conversation with someone. Silence is the worst. My mind talks a lot of shit. Here are a list of quick thoughts from my mind:
1. I don’t really like yoga its so boring
2. I don’t know if I actually like Bob Marley anymore, which is something I stole from someone else but it really has made me think for the past three weeks about my feelings towards him
3. Where have all the cowboys gone?
4. I hate Cheetos and it’s gross when people get that colored powder all over their fingers
5. I cant believe how much Top Ramen I would eat when I was hungover. It’s so salty.
6. I love being punished.
7. One time my mom grounded me when I was 10 and I threw a pool stick thru the glass French doors in my bedroom to retaliate
8. What wouldn’t I do for a Klondike bar?
9. Missy Elliot can’t stand the rain.
10. I wish I had someone to cuddle with, but I only have a comforter, which isn’t comforting. Laying with a comforter in between your legs when you don’t have a person is equally depressing.
11. Who green lighted a children’s cartoon about an anteater named Arthur? Actually he was an aardvark because I googled “anteater cartoon” to remember the name. But what even is the difference between an aardvark and an anteater? Don’t feel like googling it.
12. Was Alf Jewish?
13. Guys suck.
14. Just how did Stella get her groove back?
15. Anyone who still has their eyebrow pierced is working in a Verizon authorized retail store.
16. I’m so lazy right now that I can’t be bothered to put sheets on my bed.
17. Do I have a chemical imbalance?
18. I wouldn’t mind a milkshake at all right now.
19. How cool would it be if I became a princess.
20. If I don’t go to St. Barts this year there’s going to be a fucking problem.