Keep your heels on ladies

Girls need to learn to keep their heels on and I’m not just talking about in the bedroom.
I take a weekly Improv class at the Upright Citizens Brigade and this week was shocked when in the middle of class a girl removed her measly 1-inch PLATFORM heels. Everyone knows that platforms are the easiest to stand in. Baffled, I imagined the reasons why she wouldn’t be able to keep her shoes on: Maybe the shoes hurt her feet? She had been standing in them all day long? But listen, you’re not at home. You might as well have put on a Snuggie on and laid down on the floor improving that you were on a couch with a pint of Ice Cream.
I remember when I was at Bat mitzvahs when I was 13 and I’d hate it when girls would take their heels or shoes off to dance.

I see you there on the right, come on get it together girls.

At Bat Mitzvahs, a lot of girls would have socks with pom-poms made for the event, urging girls to take their shoes off and just have a good ol’ time.  But sister, this ain’t the Girl Scout Sock Hop and if you’re not wearing a Poodle Skirt I suggest you keep those heels on.

You are the only exception, now go sell some Girl Scout Cookies. You've earned this.

Not wearing heels at a party is offensive. It sickens me when people take their heels off at weddings, too. I don’t care what the occasion is but do you think you should be doing The Electric Slide past the age of 6? If you like the Electric Slide, fine, but doing it barefoot? You might as well subscribe to Lady’s Home Journal, grab some knitting needles and a ball of yarn and begin to write your Will because being barefoot at any party to me is social suicide.

Hey lady on the left, we got a kid over here in high heels and you're barefoot. Are you embarrassed of yourself?

One time I was trying to enjoy an episode of the Jersey Shore in Italy, when suddenly a few of the female cast members took their shoes off and were walking around the streets barefoot.

Even your Italy Promotional ad is barefoot? I've seen enough.

Walking around the streets barefoot is filthy! In Hawaii, girls would walk around barefoot all the time at the University of Hawaii campus because some considered it “cool” for some reason. It isn’t being a “hippy;” it’s being unsanitary. It’s become an epidemic.
There is no excuse for girls to wear flats out at night to a bar or club. If you’re worried about walking around in them for too long, this is why taxis and hot guys that you to hold their arms for balance exist. Bottom line: if it’s after dark, you should be in heels. The second the sun goes down, the nocturnal kitten in you should feverishly be slipping into some stilts to lengthen and lift your body in the sultriest of ways. Don’t just do it to be as tall as the other girls in the club, do it for your own self-respect.

you should all be ashamed of yourself.

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5 Responses to Keep your heels on ladies

  1. Pingback: Keep your heels on ladies | xoxochelseaskye | Womens Boots On Sale

  2. Pingback: Keep your heels on ladies | xoxochelseaskye | Booties

  3. Paris says:

    sorry but you’re very wrong about this!! barefoot girls are sexy as hell

  4. Wow that was unusual. I just wrote an extremely long comment but after I clicked submit my comment
    didn’t show up. Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again.
    Anyway, just wanted to say excellent blog!

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