I’m currently interning at a production company, and a few days ago I had to return a tripod to an equipment rental house. I was waiting outside for a cab where there was a lot of traffic, when a guy on a motorcycle leisurely rode by. Even though I was alone, I still felt the need to heckle him like a construction worker on a cigarette break and exclaimed, “whooooooo!” as he rode by.
Seemingly interested, he backed up and looked at me straight in the eyes asking, “What? You want to see some magic?”
Feeling bemused and uncouth I told him that I had no idea what he was talking about.
Then again he insisted, “Want to see some magic? I’m David.” As if I should know whom David was. As if I was standing in front of the building, obviously awaiting his arrival, like a grandiose character bringing me into an alternative portal in a fantasyland. Perhaps he could have hobbled over, like a centaur in the forest behind Hogwart’s house in Harry Potter, to ask if I was ready to see some magic at the king’s castle.
Finally recognizing the phrase he kept repeating, I showed a little NY attitude while retorting, “who do you think you are? David Blaine?”
Animatedly he pulled out his wallet and showed me his ID. He was in fact David Blaine. “Haven’t you seen the You Tube spoofs on me?”
I couldn’t believe he would actually say that, but I genuinely happened to love those spoofs and told him they were hilarious.
Then he got off his bike and asked me if I had a quarter. I handed him a quarter from my purse eagerly and then he requested that I write my initials on the quarter with a Sharpe marker he had. Next he placed the quarter back in my hand, solicited me to keep a closed fist, and told me the quarter would be bent when I opened my fist. He kept my hand closed with his, while questioning me about random personal questions about my life. He hailed me a cab, put the tripod in the trunk, and then announced that I could open up my hand. The quarter was fucking bent.
Of course I began freaking out asking how it happened, which he said he could show me, along with a bunch of other magic tricks if I gave him my phone number. I felt skeptical at first, but then remembered my birthday was coming up and I kind of wanted a magician there performing tricks for my guests. He wanted to prove that he could memorize all ten numbers (must be a common magician trait), so he refused to write them down.
I got in the cab and was staring at the quarter in disbelief when my phone rang. Seeing it was a number I didn’t recognize, I wondered could it be David Blaine? It seemed impossible, considering I had just left him less than a minute ago. I answered the phone, and heard a voice, cry “look to your left!”
I saw him on his motorcycle, slowly riding next to my taxi and smiling while on his headset. He excitedly went on, “The real magic trick now is not getting pulled over by any cops without a helmet on!” He asked that I call him back when I was finished dropping off the tripod so he could ‘show me some more magic.’
This guy is always talking about ‘some magic,’ what’s the ‘some?’ It’s not just simply magic? It’s some magic? I decided not to call him back even though I wanted to see some more magic, because it all felt very creepy. Also, we both said the word magic in five minutes more than I had ever said it in my life, so I was over using the word for the day and couldn’t think of an alterior synonym I’d be happy enough to put up with.
The next day I was working and got a missed call from him at 8:30 am. I called him back an hour later and he was evidently lying in bed, using his sleepy voice while trying to converse with me like I was one of his friends he’s known for years. I imagined him laying in bed with his arm propped up behind his hand, with the other hand in his pants.
DB: Did I wake you?
Me: No, I’m working.
DB: When are you finished?
Me: Not sure.
DB: Call me on your break; I want to see you.
I didn’t call him back. Maybe one day I will to learn some magic tricks, but for now, I’d rather not see what types of tricks that magician is going to pull out of his hat… let alone be one of those tricks.