I don’t really remember much about Harry Potter because I stopped reading it in eighth grade after the 4th book, and now I guess they are screening the 6th film? Anyways, I sometimes think about this and just had to make a statement about it. I’m not sure if he’s still in the series, but Hagrid, the giant dude with curly hair who lives in the woods on the Hogwarts campus was a weirdo. No one thought it was strange that students would go to his “cabin in the woods” and hang out there? Watch him “slay a dragon?” I just, I don’t know…I don’t trust this “Hagrid.” I wouldn’t be suprised if Professor Snape was like Chris Hansen from Dateline NBC’s How to Catch a Predator, and offered Hagrid some magic jumping jelly beans or berts botts beer or whatever they had, while trying to catch him showing up to some kids dormitory……..
Scene: Hagrid walks into Gryfindor, one of the dormitories on campus
Ron Weasley: Hey, Hagrid, follow me back here. We’re just doing spells…
Ron leads him through the back of the common area towards their bedrooms, but is intruded by Professor Snape
Snape: Hello Hagrid, why don’t you have a seat? Have some magic flavored jelly beans?
Hagrid: I think I should be back on my way. I’ve got to train a dragon.
Snape: what are you doing in the dormitory? Shouldn’t you be in your shack in the woods? I have a transcript here, from a conversation you had with Ron. You sent him this picture of you masturbating in the invisible cloak at the Quidditch match? You said you had a large Broomstick they could ride? What is that you brought with you? A magic wand?
Then Hagrid gets up from the seat and tries to run away, but Snape waves his wand at the door and quickly shuts it… And…uhhhhhh.. to be continued