What you can count on me for

Something you could always count on me for is burning the bag of microwave popcorn. I am the burned popcorn queen of New York (like the sausage king of chicago…Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.. anyone? anyone?)  I always pop it for too long and manage to burn it somehow, even if I follow the directions. Yes, I am putting the correct side up, i’m listening to see how many pops are in between whatever you are counting, and i’m pretty sure every time it comes out messed up.

I also am the MVP of burning toast. I don’t know whether I turn the dial too high, or if my timing is off, or if it’s because i toast it 2x in a row instead of once, but I stay burning that toast. I always have to do it over, and then everything smells like carbon. One time I was so hungover that I googled hangover cures and one that i found was to eat burnt toast, so I made a fabulous piece of burnt toast and put honey on top and ate it. It sucked.

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