There’s a new Croc in town.

Just when I could finally get a breath of fresh air away from the horrific and disgusting Crocs, another shoe came in to town which is questionably and quite possibly even worse… “barefoot footwear” aka Vibram Five Fingers. Some of you may have seen these on the street, and mistook them for a barefoot person, which I’d almost prefer. Than this….

WHAT IS THIS?

Seriously? Who would wear this?! Not only is it beyond ugly, I don’t care what level of comfort or minimalism you’re looking for, the only thing you’re going to be looking for after wearing these is a new set of friends because no one will want to hang out with ‘the five finger barefoot friend’ ruining Brunch with their embarrassing footwear. Now I understand this shoe was designed scientifically for something, so I went to their website and found this explanation:

” Our revolutionary design makes feet healthier by allowing them to move more naturally and freely. The typical human foot is an anatomical marvel of evolution with 26 bones, 33 joints, 20 muscles and hundreds of sensory receptors, tendons and ligaments. Like the rest of the body, to keep our feet healthy, they need to be stimulated and exercised.” 

This quote tells me nothing about why I should be ok walking up to the cash register with these shoes. Are they even considered shoes? Just go barefoot. You don’t need to wear rubber versions of your feet. I just… I just don’t get it.

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